In July 2014 we received an email from Australia, from a foster carer who has also adopted a child, who had found the paper very evocative for her. She describes the way her adoptive son was left with no arrangements for contact with his former carers, revealing what she felt was ‘a lack of systemic acknowledgement of the impact of his separation from them’. She and her partner have taken the initiative to ensure he continues to see them:
"He is often shy in their company at first, then opens up to them. He is joyful when he sees pictures of them, but also shows signs of being hurt, angry, and fearful (perhaps about losing us). We all hope that this will be a life long connection for all of us."
As she puts it: "It seems rather intuitive that breaking the attachments forged in the first year of life will be traumatic."
Please find Betsi's full email below (printed with her permission:
"He is often shy in their company at first, then opens up to them. He is joyful when he sees pictures of them, but also shows signs of being hurt, angry, and fearful (perhaps about losing us). We all hope that this will be a life long connection for all of us."
As she puts it: "It seems rather intuitive that breaking the attachments forged in the first year of life will be traumatic."
Please find Betsi's full email below (printed with her permission:
Dear Dr Boswell,
I've just come across your article in Adoption and Fostering and found that it resonated with my own experience. My husband and I are foster carers hoping to adopt in Australia. Our son (now 2.5 yrs old) was removed from his birthmother at birth and placed in temporary care until he was 11 months old. When he came into our care, there were no provisions to continue contact with his first foster family (and there continues to be a lack of systemic acknowledgement of the impact of his separation from them).
Independent of the management regime he is under, we continue to have contact with his first family every few months (although there was a 6 month initial break from them). He is often shy in their company at first, then opens up to them. He is joyful when he sees pictures of them, but also shows signs of being hurt, angry, and fearful (perhaps about losing us). We all hope that this will be a life long connection for all of us. It seems rather intuitive that breaking the attachments forged in the first year of life will be traumatic.
I thank you for your article as it so resonated with us, and do hope that it finds its way into practice. I will be passing it along to our caseworker here.
Cheers,
Betsi Beem
Sr Lecturer
Department of Government and International Relations
16/7/14
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